Changing seasons

Summer is my favorite time of year. Nothing beats long, sun-filled days, trips to the beach, fresh-steamed blue crabs, and garden-fresh tomatoes. The warm, muggy nights of summer are perfect for dancing under the moonlight or drinking beers with good friends in the backyard. Everything is alive in the summer. By August's end, plants are reaching for the sky, lush and green, and there's something fun and exciting going on every weekend. Summertime is youthful and energetic, a time for play.

I spend the beginning of each fall lamenting summer's end, but this year I am feeling something new. This year, as the weather cools and the days become shorter, I find myself standing face-to-face with the brevity of my existence.

Summer has turned into fall, which will soon turn into winter, then spring. Another year of my life will have passed me by.

Time has become a precious commodity. The hopes and dreams that I have held dear to my heart, yet at arms-length, are suddenly prominent in my mind. My desire to break free, to escape the rat race, to do something that really matters is burning and urgent.

If I don't take a chance and follow my dreams soon, will I ever? Will the daily grind that my life has become consume me? As I approach 30, I worry that I will become complacent and settled in my ways, whatever they are.

I am torn. I find comfort in the predictable and secure life I have built for myself, but I yearn for spontaneity and adventure. I want it all. I want nothing. I want to feel connected, but I feel like running. Running back toward the idealistic person I once was, the life I once lived, before so many summers had passed by.


  1. i totally hear you on that... i am wondering that myself as well.

  2. you and me both, sister.

    I think there is a balance. You have to work hard in the 9-5 (or in your case, the 5-7) to play hard in the 5-9.

    It's there, it's just hard to see while you're on that train every damned morning.

  3. I'm fast approaching 31 and every morning I wonder what I'm doing with my life. I suppose I just want my cake and to eat it too.

  4. I love your writing in this post, it's so lyrical and accurate as you describe the change of season and the passing of time.

    Fall does tend to be a very comtemplative time for me, perhaps because there is such a drastic change as summer turns to autumn more than any other seasonal change. I too don't want to be complacent about my life, but it's more challenging as I get older....sigh.

  5. Complacent and settled in one's ways? I just hit 33 and I still don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life! In fact, I can't quite contemplate doing a single "thing" or living in a single place for another 50-odd years...

    I'm usually glad to see summer come to an end. As a kid it was too long and I looked forward to school. Living in Spain it was like "finally! the thermometer has dropped down a few degrees and all the bloody tourists are gone!". My favourite season is the Fall, and I look forward to enjoying a "real" Fall this year since I'm in Belgium... leaves changing colours?! YAY!!!

  6. Very nice post! I'm always sad to see summer end, but fall does bring with it, its own form of renewal. As odd as it sounds, I love the smell of fall and changing colors.

  7. i like winters more....but i am here in aus...n ppl say summers are really beautiful here..so looking to explore!


  8. ugh. this sounds all too familiar to me. i know exactly how you feel. my plan this year is to just enjoy everything and try to embrace things as much as possible and get as much as i can out of the days, seasons, and the year. we can only do our best. we can only take small steps towards our dreams.

  9. Agreed!! The changing of the seasons always cause reflection, don't they? Enjoy your innervisions and make a move sister. Even if it's the wrong move, make one.