When I wrote Reconnecting (Part 1), I had envisioned that Part 2 would be a follow-up post describing how the newly reforged relationship was faring. Since then however, another person from my past has reappeared in my life. I don't know what's going on in the universe.....
I got a phone call from an unknown number last week, which I promptly diverted to voicemail. Standard procedure for me.
A few minutes later, my phone beeped to indicate that I had a new message. I played the voicemail and heard a small and wavering voice on the other end. It only took a couple of words..."hey Mara"...and I knew who it was immediately. The message was long and apologetic..."sorry I stopped calling you....I miss you.."
The story about how I lost (or at least thought I had lost) this friend is similar to the one I told last week, except this girl and I go way, way, way back. I'm talking back to our days of diapers and pacifiers back.
We were best friends through all of our childhood. We spent our weekends joined at the hip, jumping on the giant trampoline in her yard, playing in the creek, tromping through the woods and tormenting her little sister who always followed us around. We shared everything from an innocent crush on Peter from GhostBusters to boogie boards on the beach in the summertime.
We were inseparable until middle school
That's when her parents decided that I was a bad influence on their daughter and forbade her from hanging out with me for a year or two. Of course we still saw each other in school until I moved to another town in eighth grade. Now in different schools, we started to make different friends.
By the time high school rolled around, we were in completely different "social circles" at completey different schools. That didn't matter. We still referred to one another as "my best friend." I went through many other "best friends" during this time, but she was a constant. Always.
She was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on after being verbally abused by my drug-addict father. She was there when I quit the soccer team because my interests had shifted from sports to weed. She was there all the times I got grounded for sneaking out of the house or stealing the family car. She was there when at age 15 I had to leave school and go to outpatient rehab. And, she was there during my final two years of high school when I continued to struggle with my to be clean. She was always there.
After high school, I went off to college and she didn't. It was my best friend's turn to lose herself in an altered state of concsciousness. Just when I was cleaning up my act, she was tumbling downhill. Fast.
I won't go into the details, but at her lowest, she was shooting heroin and stealing from her work. Actually, the stealing may be what saved her life. She got caught and was sentenced to probation and mandatory in-patient rehabilitation.
I tried to be there for her. I visited her when she went to the halfway house. I listened to her babble on about god and how if she could just give herself to him, she would be OK. I did my best to accept the ex-addict, ex-drug dealer, ex-homeless guy she claimed to love.
I tried until she stopped answering my phone calls. After a few months of not hearing from her, I got a card in the mail saying she loved me but couldn't be my friend anymore.
Maybe she sensed my disgust of the way she was placing her new-found faith in god instead of in herself. Maybe she knew I secretly hated her new boyfriend. Maybe she couldn't stand to see me doing so much better than she was. Maybe she wasn't doing better at all. Maybe she couldn't stand hanging out with someone she used to get high with. Maybe I'll never know her reasons.
It took me a couple of days to muster up the courage to call her back after hearing that voicemail. I wondered what I would say, what she would say, would it be awkard, until I finally just made the call.
She aswered the phone, "Hi. Mara?" Before I could say anything, she started talking: "There's something I have to say..." She told me she was sorry that she hadn't contacted me in years and that she really missed me and hoped I could forgive her for being a "bad friend."
I told her that I understood and that she could have waited 50 years to call me; I still would have picked up the phone and been happy to hear her voice. With those few words, 26 years of friendship were salvaged. No more apologies or explanations needed.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
3.9.09
31.8.09
Giveaway at My Tea Cups in Peony
The amazing, fabulous and fantastic Nicole from My Teacups in Peony is hosting a giveaway to celebrate reaching 200 followers. Be sure to stop by her blog to say hello and enter for a chance to win!
27.8.09
Reconnecting (Part 1)
Over the years, I have had friends come and go from my life. Sometimes these relationships have quietly fizzled out after running their course, and other times they have ended in explosions of intense emotions and hurt feelings.
Throughout high school, I had a different best friend pretty much every year. First there was Rikki, then Nikki, then Jessica. I shared many unforgettable experiences with each of these girls, but in the end we grew apart. It's only natural I suppose.
After high school, I moved to Philadelphia. I met my first real friend in the "City of Brotherly Love" when I started waitressing at the Irish Pub on 20th and Walnut Streets. I was the youngest waitress on staff and most of the girls were standoffish to me because of it, but not this girl. She was nice to me from day one. Our friendship started with taking cigarette breaks together at work and quickly turned into wild nights at bars we had snuck into with fake IDs, dancing until the wee hours of the night, and hanging out at my apartment, eating cheese, acting silly and generally having a good time.
When I was going through some rough times and needed a place to live, she was the one who took me in. We shared her big two-bedroom apartment in a crappy section of South Philly for a couple of years before I moved away. We were great roommates, at least at first.
This friend who had always liked to get fucked up, had taken fun and partying to a whole new level. She would bring strange men back to our home and not remember their names in the morning. She often left food cooking on the stove or in the oven all night after passing out drunk. We would wake up to an apartment full of smoke and a ruined pan. On more than one occasion, I had to bust down our bathroom door because she had passed out with her head over the toilet and the bathroom door locked. Finally it got to be too much, I started spending most of my time at the apartment on Mifflin Street that my bestfriend (at the time) was renting. Eventually, I left Philly and moved to Baltimore. The ex-roomie and I kept in touch.
One night when I was back in Philly visiting, another friend and I ended up having to take this girl to the hospital after she passed out on the dance floor at a bar. One minute she was dancing, the next she was unconscious. We didn't know what she had taken. We feared the worst and took her to the hospital. After that night, this friend held a grudge against me for years. She blamed me for her hospital debt. She felt betrayed. That was the end of our relationship. Or so it seemed.
Earlier this year, this friend got back in touch with me. She called me and told me that she had been to therapy and wasn't partying so much and was doing much better all around. She told me she missed me. I missed her too. We decided to give our friendship another shot.
If I told you it was the same as it was before, I would be lying. Our lives changed in the years we spent apart, and we are both apprehensive about baring our souls to one another to reveal the people we have become.
I'm hoping that are friendship will rebound, not to what it was but to something new and equally as wonderful. We seem to be getting there, one step at a time.
We started with a few long telephone conversations. Then, she came to visit me at my new(ish) house in Baltimore. And, now we have plans to spend Thanksgiving together IN PARIS!!!
I was pretty shocked when she called to ask if I wanted to take a trip together. In fact, I'm pretty sure she only asked me because I'm one of the few people she knows who would be able to afford a trip like this, but that's OK. The trip will give us a chance to reconnect and get to know one another all over again.
Throughout high school, I had a different best friend pretty much every year. First there was Rikki, then Nikki, then Jessica. I shared many unforgettable experiences with each of these girls, but in the end we grew apart. It's only natural I suppose.
After high school, I moved to Philadelphia. I met my first real friend in the "City of Brotherly Love" when I started waitressing at the Irish Pub on 20th and Walnut Streets. I was the youngest waitress on staff and most of the girls were standoffish to me because of it, but not this girl. She was nice to me from day one. Our friendship started with taking cigarette breaks together at work and quickly turned into wild nights at bars we had snuck into with fake IDs, dancing until the wee hours of the night, and hanging out at my apartment, eating cheese, acting silly and generally having a good time.
When I was going through some rough times and needed a place to live, she was the one who took me in. We shared her big two-bedroom apartment in a crappy section of South Philly for a couple of years before I moved away. We were great roommates, at least at first.
This friend who had always liked to get fucked up, had taken fun and partying to a whole new level. She would bring strange men back to our home and not remember their names in the morning. She often left food cooking on the stove or in the oven all night after passing out drunk. We would wake up to an apartment full of smoke and a ruined pan. On more than one occasion, I had to bust down our bathroom door because she had passed out with her head over the toilet and the bathroom door locked. Finally it got to be too much, I started spending most of my time at the apartment on Mifflin Street that my bestfriend (at the time) was renting. Eventually, I left Philly and moved to Baltimore. The ex-roomie and I kept in touch.
One night when I was back in Philly visiting, another friend and I ended up having to take this girl to the hospital after she passed out on the dance floor at a bar. One minute she was dancing, the next she was unconscious. We didn't know what she had taken. We feared the worst and took her to the hospital. After that night, this friend held a grudge against me for years. She blamed me for her hospital debt. She felt betrayed. That was the end of our relationship. Or so it seemed.
Earlier this year, this friend got back in touch with me. She called me and told me that she had been to therapy and wasn't partying so much and was doing much better all around. She told me she missed me. I missed her too. We decided to give our friendship another shot.
If I told you it was the same as it was before, I would be lying. Our lives changed in the years we spent apart, and we are both apprehensive about baring our souls to one another to reveal the people we have become.
I'm hoping that are friendship will rebound, not to what it was but to something new and equally as wonderful. We seem to be getting there, one step at a time.
We started with a few long telephone conversations. Then, she came to visit me at my new(ish) house in Baltimore. And, now we have plans to spend Thanksgiving together IN PARIS!!!
I was pretty shocked when she called to ask if I wanted to take a trip together. In fact, I'm pretty sure she only asked me because I'm one of the few people she knows who would be able to afford a trip like this, but that's OK. The trip will give us a chance to reconnect and get to know one another all over again.
25.6.09
Reversing a trend {week 6}
Each week (or so :) I post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend. The goal of this project is to help myself and all the amazing women I know to embrace our inner-beauty.
I have an adventurous spirit. Without hesitation, I have traveled alone to foreign countries. Without fear, I tested my paddling skills last summer by taking on a stream with raging post-storm rapids. I've trekked through the Andes Mountains, camped at the bottom of a crater in Israel, climbed a volcano in Nicaragua, danced at a rave on a desert-island off the coast of Honduras, and tried surfing in Costa Rica. I've eaten everything from quail eggs to raw conch straight from the seafloor, and from guinea pig to tepezcuintle. If you're looking for a road-trip partner, I'm your girl.
Nicole of Nicole K. Photography is an amazing photographer. She is able to capture the essence, beauty and character of a person on film in a way that few others can. Just look at these powerful photos she took of a soldier and his family for Operation: Love Reunited. Or, these amazing images she took of a friend's new baby. Nicole is also one of the photographers team behind The Littlest Heroes Project, a nonprofit with a mission to "help provide and capture memories for families who are dealing with hectic schedules due to having a child who is suffering from a serious illness or life altering disability."
I addition to her shear talent and good will, I admire Nicole's ambition to use her passion to start her own small photographic services business. How awesome is that!?! Nicole specializes in family, baby and maternity shots and is considering adding wedding photography to her offerings. If you're in the Maryland-D.C. area and need a photographer, check out Nicole K. Photography!
I have an adventurous spirit. Without hesitation, I have traveled alone to foreign countries. Without fear, I tested my paddling skills last summer by taking on a stream with raging post-storm rapids. I've trekked through the Andes Mountains, camped at the bottom of a crater in Israel, climbed a volcano in Nicaragua, danced at a rave on a desert-island off the coast of Honduras, and tried surfing in Costa Rica. I've eaten everything from quail eggs to raw conch straight from the seafloor, and from guinea pig to tepezcuintle. If you're looking for a road-trip partner, I'm your girl.
Nicole of Nicole K. Photography is an amazing photographer. She is able to capture the essence, beauty and character of a person on film in a way that few others can. Just look at these powerful photos she took of a soldier and his family for Operation: Love Reunited. Or, these amazing images she took of a friend's new baby. Nicole is also one of the photographers team behind The Littlest Heroes Project, a nonprofit with a mission to "help provide and capture memories for families who are dealing with hectic schedules due to having a child who is suffering from a serious illness or life altering disability."
I addition to her shear talent and good will, I admire Nicole's ambition to use her passion to start her own small photographic services business. How awesome is that!?! Nicole specializes in family, baby and maternity shots and is considering adding wedding photography to her offerings. If you're in the Maryland-D.C. area and need a photographer, check out Nicole K. Photography!
23.6.09
It's nice to feel loved
Since yesterday's tragic Metro accident, friends and family have been calling me to make sure I wasn't on one of the trains that collided.
My mom was the first to call. When I picked up the phone and said hello, the first words out of my mother's mouth were "thank god you answered." She proceeded to tell me about the collision on the red line, which apparently had happened right in the middle of my commute. On the red line.
I had spent 30 minutes stuck on the tracks near Gallery Place with no information except, "there's been an incident ahead." It wasn't until my mom called that I knew the severity of the "incident."
The next phone call came from my friend Stephen in Philly. Word travels fast. Then Jack's parent's called to make sure I was OK. Within three hours of the collision, three people had called me. By 8 a.m.this morning another friend had sent me a concerned text message.
It's nice to know that there are people out there who care about me. It's nice to feel loved.
My mom was the first to call. When I picked up the phone and said hello, the first words out of my mother's mouth were "thank god you answered." She proceeded to tell me about the collision on the red line, which apparently had happened right in the middle of my commute. On the red line.
I had spent 30 minutes stuck on the tracks near Gallery Place with no information except, "there's been an incident ahead." It wasn't until my mom called that I knew the severity of the "incident."
The next phone call came from my friend Stephen in Philly. Word travels fast. Then Jack's parent's called to make sure I was OK. Within three hours of the collision, three people had called me. By 8 a.m.this morning another friend had sent me a concerned text message.
It's nice to know that there are people out there who care about me. It's nice to feel loved.
13.6.09
Reversing a trend {week 5}
Each week I post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend. The goal of this project is to help myself and all the amazing women I know to embrace our inner-beauty.
I am a great cook. My signature dishes range from Latino-delights like pastel de pollo and mole de guajalote to Asian-inspired meals like pad thai and mee krob. I think that my creativity and willingness to experiment, combined with my skill at separating out the flavors in the food I eat, are what make me a great cook. I know. This compliment to myself was kind of lame. I'm only on week five, and it's getting hard to find something nice to say about myself :(
Floreta at The Solitary Panda is one tough chick. In fact, she recently earned her 2'nd level white belt in poekoelan, a style of martial arts from Indonesia. Through her study and practice, Floreta has not only learned to kick ass but has achieved a level of self awareness that I completely respect and admire. She is among the most introspective people that I have ever meet in the blogging community, or in real life for that matter. She accepts and explores her sexuality and other primal urges. She writes poems wrought with emotion and explores her artistic side. She writes intelligently about her views on society and she openly shares her life experiences, past and present. To sum it up, Floreta is awesome. Read her blog!
I am a great cook. My signature dishes range from Latino-delights like pastel de pollo and mole de guajalote to Asian-inspired meals like pad thai and mee krob. I think that my creativity and willingness to experiment, combined with my skill at separating out the flavors in the food I eat, are what make me a great cook. I know. This compliment to myself was kind of lame. I'm only on week five, and it's getting hard to find something nice to say about myself :(
Floreta at The Solitary Panda is one tough chick. In fact, she recently earned her 2'nd level white belt in poekoelan, a style of martial arts from Indonesia. Through her study and practice, Floreta has not only learned to kick ass but has achieved a level of self awareness that I completely respect and admire. She is among the most introspective people that I have ever meet in the blogging community, or in real life for that matter. She accepts and explores her sexuality and other primal urges. She writes poems wrought with emotion and explores her artistic side. She writes intelligently about her views on society and she openly shares her life experiences, past and present. To sum it up, Floreta is awesome. Read her blog!
3.6.09
Reversing a trend {week 4}
Each week I post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend. The goal of this project is to help myself and all the amazing women I know to embrace our inner-beauty.
I don't judge people based on superficial standards. My friends range from scientists and educators at prestigious institutions to career bartenders and construction workers. I have friends who grew up on the streets, as well as friends who lived in mansions as kids. If you put all of my friends together in a room, you'd think you just stepped into a commercial for the UN or something. My friends come in all shapes and sizes, all colors and shades, all religions and sexual orientations. I even have a friend who's a Republican. GASP!
This is not to say I am indiscriminate. Just this weekend a friend of mine, gave me an interesting compliment. He said: "When I first met you I couldn't figure you out. I couldn't understand why you got along with me but didn't like my friends. I thought you were snobby, but then you wouldn't like me...." He continued: "You aren't snobby, you just know what you have and appreciate it."
My friend hit it on the head. I am not snobby. What I am is a real-no-bull-shit person. I judge people and accept them as friends based on their ability to laugh at life and themselves, their willingness to talk openly and honestly, and the way they treat other people . I don't see eye-to-eye with all my friends on everything, but I respect their convictions and confidence in their thoughts and beliefs.
Life is too short to allow yourself to be bogged down with people you can't trust, people who aren't nice or people who don't treat you well. You have a choice. I have a choice. I choose to surround myself with "real" people. Fuck da' bullshit!
The Wife in Stilettos is a strong, brave woman. Around Mother's Day, she wrote a series of beautiful poems to her mom. To open-up and speak honestly in such a public way takes a lot of guts. Also, not to long ago, I read a post by The Wife in Stilettos where she wrote: "We're in limbo. The husband and I may be in Canada today, but we quite frankly don't know where our shoes may take us tomorrow." I respect and admire her ability to face life's uncertainties shows with a care-free and fearless attitude.
She recently (by recently, I mean sometime last month) bestowed upon me "One Lovely Blog Award." Thanks lady!
Be sure to check out The Wife in Stilettos!
I don't judge people based on superficial standards. My friends range from scientists and educators at prestigious institutions to career bartenders and construction workers. I have friends who grew up on the streets, as well as friends who lived in mansions as kids. If you put all of my friends together in a room, you'd think you just stepped into a commercial for the UN or something. My friends come in all shapes and sizes, all colors and shades, all religions and sexual orientations. I even have a friend who's a Republican. GASP!
This is not to say I am indiscriminate. Just this weekend a friend of mine, gave me an interesting compliment. He said: "When I first met you I couldn't figure you out. I couldn't understand why you got along with me but didn't like my friends. I thought you were snobby, but then you wouldn't like me...." He continued: "You aren't snobby, you just know what you have and appreciate it."
My friend hit it on the head. I am not snobby. What I am is a real-no-bull-shit person. I judge people and accept them as friends based on their ability to laugh at life and themselves, their willingness to talk openly and honestly, and the way they treat other people . I don't see eye-to-eye with all my friends on everything, but I respect their convictions and confidence in their thoughts and beliefs.
Life is too short to allow yourself to be bogged down with people you can't trust, people who aren't nice or people who don't treat you well. You have a choice. I have a choice. I choose to surround myself with "real" people. Fuck da' bullshit!
The Wife in Stilettos is a strong, brave woman. Around Mother's Day, she wrote a series of beautiful poems to her mom. To open-up and speak honestly in such a public way takes a lot of guts. Also, not to long ago, I read a post by The Wife in Stilettos where she wrote: "We're in limbo. The husband and I may be in Canada today, but we quite frankly don't know where our shoes may take us tomorrow." I respect and admire her ability to face life's uncertainties shows with a care-free and fearless attitude.
She recently (by recently, I mean sometime last month) bestowed upon me "One Lovely Blog Award." Thanks lady!
Be sure to check out The Wife in Stilettos!
20.5.09
Reversing a trend {week 3}
Each week I post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend. The goal of this project is to help myself and all the amazing women I know to embrace our inner-beauty.
I am not afraid to be silly. I like to make silly faces, interject witty (read:immature) commentary into conversations and break out cheesy dance moves like the "grocery cart" on a crowded dance floor. This may sound like a strange compliment to give myself, but I feel like not taking yourself to seriously is an important quality to have.
Lizzi (Life According to Lizzi) is a creative and talented artist. She's an excellent painter, photographer and writer. Even more impressive than her shear talent is that Lizzi does not allow her roles as a mother, a wife and a working professional to keep her from exploring her creative side. She makes time for self-expression and is bold enough to post her work to a blog and share it with the world.
I met Lizzi in the blogosphere earlier this year. Since then, we have become modern-day pen pals, reading and commenting on one another's blogs and keeping the conversation going through e-mail. I am certain that Lizzi and I would be real-life-flesh-and-blood friends if we weren't separated by 2,000+ miles....
Just last week, Lizzi bestowed upon me the "Queen of ALLL Things Awe-Summm!!!" award. Thanks Lizzi!
1. List 7 things that make me Awe-Summm
1. I make silly faces at strangers.
2. I make people laugh.
3. I am willing to try anything, at least once.
4. I can rap my favorite ghetto-tek tracks at 160 beats per minute.
5. I am a good cook, and my dishes range from Latin American to Israeli inspired.
6. I love to learn about everything and anything.
7. I am friends with people of all different backgrounds.
And, here is a list of seven bloggers who I think are totally awe-summ!!!!! Be sure to check them out.
1. Chef Green at Sauce on the Side
2. The Wife in Stilletos
3. Jasmine at An Experiment in Poverty
4. Floreta at The Solitary Panda
5. All the wonderful women at Wednesday Spaghetti
6. Diane at The Pits
7. ShansPLC at Word.
I am not afraid to be silly. I like to make silly faces, interject witty (read:immature) commentary into conversations and break out cheesy dance moves like the "grocery cart" on a crowded dance floor. This may sound like a strange compliment to give myself, but I feel like not taking yourself to seriously is an important quality to have.
Lizzi (Life According to Lizzi) is a creative and talented artist. She's an excellent painter, photographer and writer. Even more impressive than her shear talent is that Lizzi does not allow her roles as a mother, a wife and a working professional to keep her from exploring her creative side. She makes time for self-expression and is bold enough to post her work to a blog and share it with the world.
I met Lizzi in the blogosphere earlier this year. Since then, we have become modern-day pen pals, reading and commenting on one another's blogs and keeping the conversation going through e-mail. I am certain that Lizzi and I would be real-life-flesh-and-blood friends if we weren't separated by 2,000+ miles....
Just last week, Lizzi bestowed upon me the "Queen of ALLL Things Awe-Summm!!!" award. Thanks Lizzi!
Before I can officially accept my crown, here's what I am supposed to do:
1. List 7 things that make me Awe-Summm
2. Pass this award onto 7 deserving bloggers
3. Tag said bloggers and link back to who tagged you
Here's my list:1. I make silly faces at strangers.
2. I make people laugh.
3. I am willing to try anything, at least once.
4. I can rap my favorite ghetto-tek tracks at 160 beats per minute.
5. I am a good cook, and my dishes range from Latin American to Israeli inspired.
6. I love to learn about everything and anything.
7. I am friends with people of all different backgrounds.
And, here is a list of seven bloggers who I think are totally awe-summ!!!!! Be sure to check them out.
1. Chef Green at Sauce on the Side
2. The Wife in Stilletos
3. Jasmine at An Experiment in Poverty
4. Floreta at The Solitary Panda
5. All the wonderful women at Wednesday Spaghetti
6. Diane at The Pits
7. ShansPLC at Word.
13.5.09
Reversing a trend {week 2}
Each week I post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend. The goal of this project is to help myself and all the amazing women I know to embrace our inner-beauty.
I am motivated. My motivation is intrinsic--it comes from within. I am on a never-ending quest to better myself and my position in life. I set goals for myself, and I achieve them. Throughout high school I held two two jobs to save money for college. When I was in college, I decided that I wanted to work at the Smithsonian and nowhere else. Three unpaid internships later, I got the job offer. Now that I have the job, I realize that this is not the way I want to live my life, rushing around, working overtime and dealing with office politics. No. This is not for me. I want to be my own boss, and I will.
Natasha is passionate. Through her poetry, Natasha bares her soul with intricately woven words that are sometime delicate and other times harsh. She writes constantly and performs often, allowing life to be her muse. She doesn't hold back. Natasha encourages others to express themselves, supporting fellow writers and collaborating with other local wordsmiths.
Taking a break from grad school, Natasha is currently focusing all her energy on getting her name and art out into the world. She has already been published a couple of times, as well as invited to be a featured performer at a number of poetry/spoken word venues. I know more opportunities and good things are coming her way!
I am motivated. My motivation is intrinsic--it comes from within. I am on a never-ending quest to better myself and my position in life. I set goals for myself, and I achieve them. Throughout high school I held two two jobs to save money for college. When I was in college, I decided that I wanted to work at the Smithsonian and nowhere else. Three unpaid internships later, I got the job offer. Now that I have the job, I realize that this is not the way I want to live my life, rushing around, working overtime and dealing with office politics. No. This is not for me. I want to be my own boss, and I will.
Natasha is passionate. Through her poetry, Natasha bares her soul with intricately woven words that are sometime delicate and other times harsh. She writes constantly and performs often, allowing life to be her muse. She doesn't hold back. Natasha encourages others to express themselves, supporting fellow writers and collaborating with other local wordsmiths.
Taking a break from grad school, Natasha is currently focusing all her energy on getting her name and art out into the world. She has already been published a couple of times, as well as invited to be a featured performer at a number of poetry/spoken word venues. I know more opportunities and good things are coming her way!
6.5.09
Reversing a trend
Earlier this week, Jasmine at An Experiment in Poverty, and I were talking about the sad fact that there are so many wonderful, beautiful and competent women who suffer from low self-esteem. Instead of going on a tirade about how fashion magazines teach little girls that you have to be thin and pretty to be liked and about the unspoken expectation that women be good mothers, wives, housekeepers and hostesses all while holding down 9-5 jobs, I have decided to tackle the problem head-on.
Each week, I am going to post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend.
I am competent. My life--like anyone's life--has been like a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs. But, no matter what life throws my way, I can walk away a stronger person. I have made mistakes. It's only human. But, my mistakes do not make me any less of a person.
Lora (at Jakezilla) is someone I know I can always count on. If you need advice, talk to her. She will look at your problem objectively, without making you feel stupid for not being able to do so yourself.
I met Lora about a decade ago--we were both waitresses at an Irish bar in Philly. I don't remember much about the Lora I first met, except that she liked whiskey and making silly faces. We weren't great friends back then, but we kept in touch and grew closer over the years. I'm not sure what she saw in me, but I always liked Lora because she was didn't--and still doesn't --allow others to tell her how to live her life. She refuses to conform to society's definition of what a woman--a wife, a mother, a daughter, a professional--is supposed to be. Lora is just Lora, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Each week, I am going to post a compliment to myself and a compliment to a friend.
I am competent. My life--like anyone's life--has been like a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs. But, no matter what life throws my way, I can walk away a stronger person. I have made mistakes. It's only human. But, my mistakes do not make me any less of a person.
Lora (at Jakezilla) is someone I know I can always count on. If you need advice, talk to her. She will look at your problem objectively, without making you feel stupid for not being able to do so yourself.
I met Lora about a decade ago--we were both waitresses at an Irish bar in Philly. I don't remember much about the Lora I first met, except that she liked whiskey and making silly faces. We weren't great friends back then, but we kept in touch and grew closer over the years. I'm not sure what she saw in me, but I always liked Lora because she was didn't--and still doesn't --allow others to tell her how to live her life. She refuses to conform to society's definition of what a woman--a wife, a mother, a daughter, a professional--is supposed to be. Lora is just Lora, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
23.4.09
I even teared up a little bit
Lora at Jakezilla (And Oh, the urbanity!...and other secret places in the blogosphere), wrote a post containing some the nicest (and most sincere) things anyone has ever said about me. Here's what she said:
Sitting here in front of my dual-screen computer at my Castle office in Washington, D.C., wearing a three-piece suit, it's funny to think back to my "sparkleysparkley glowstick-slinging awesome-sneakered incredible-titty teenaged" self. I was even able to dig up an old photo....
First I'll tell you why I love Mara. I probably already have somewhere in my archives, but bear with me.Not only did Lora's compliments give me a major ego boost, but she reminded me of a past self.
I met Mara millions of years ago when we worked at a bar together.
She wore a lot of glitter on her face and hung out at warehouse parties and raves. I did not.
She was a teenager. I was 25.
I didn't think we would get along. I was wrong.
You wouldn't have known it by looking at her back then, but she is one of the smartest, bravest, kindest people I have ever met in my whole entire life. Mara owns Mara and everything that Mara does and Mara tells the world to either lend a hand or fuck off while she works hard to change the things that need to be changed and keep strong the things that need to be kept strong.
There aren't many people in the world you can say that about.
Thank you, Mara, for being such an amazing person and for teaching me that I can't judge a book by it's sparkleysparkley glowstick-slinging awesome-sneakered incredible-titty teenaged cover. It's a lesson I've held close to my heart all these years and it has allowed me to find the beauty and value in people no matter what they look like. Or do from 2am until the break of dawn.
And I miss your eyeshadow and think you should totally bring it back especially now that you have a High Power Government Gig at the DC Castle.
Sitting here in front of my dual-screen computer at my Castle office in Washington, D.C., wearing a three-piece suit, it's funny to think back to my "sparkleysparkley glowstick-slinging awesome-sneakered incredible-titty teenaged" self. I was even able to dig up an old photo....
17.4.09
For me? You shouldn't have!
I recently joined "20 Something Bloggers," a group very enthusiastic and supportive group of bloggers with lots to say. Since joining 20SB, I have added a number of new blogs to my reading list, gained new readers and even received an award from The Novelista Barista! I am happy to have met Novelista in the blogosphere--she is super-friendly, very open and shares my love of travel and desire to make this world a better place. Be sure to check her out!
Joe Ordinary at "Ink for Thought"
Joe Ordinary writes from the heart and has been all over 20SB trying to make connections with other bloggers and find new ways to encourage his readers to engage in conversation.
Patrick at "Engineering My Life"
A very active member of 20SB, Patrick writes about everything and anything, from politics to daily life. Check him out!
Greg Santos at "Tactical Diversion"
Tactical Diversion is unique, creative and hysterically funny. Greg encourages readers to submit their own content to be published on his site. He was one of the first people on 20SB to welcome me to the group.
Lizzi at "Life According to Lizzi"
An artist, writer and mother (and much more, I'm sure!), Lizzi's blog posts are always insightful, yet light-hearted and visually interesting. If you leave a comment, Lizzi is sure to keep the conversation going by responding back.
This award is dedicated to those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging and seeks to find the reasons why we all love blogging.
Each person who receives the award is obliged to show thanks by posting the award on his/her blog, giving a shout out to the person who gave the award, and to answer the following question: "Why do you love blogging?"
Blogging helps me deal with the craziness that life throws at me--I sort out my emotions and thoughts through writing. Also, I love the community aspect of blogging. Through blogs, I meet and connect with people I probably would never have had the opportunity to know otherwise. People really are more the same than different--the abilitiy to build support networks of friends from all over the world through blogging proves it!Without further ado, here's a list of five bloggers with whom I'd like to share this award:
- Lora at "Jakezilla"
Lora introduced me to this whole blogging thing, so I can't think of a more worthy person to receive an award for people who "love to encourage friendships through blogging
Joe Ordinary writes from the heart and has been all over 20SB trying to make connections with other bloggers and find new ways to encourage his readers to engage in conversation.
A very active member of 20SB, Patrick writes about everything and anything, from politics to daily life. Check him out!
Tactical Diversion is unique, creative and hysterically funny. Greg encourages readers to submit their own content to be published on his site. He was one of the first people on 20SB to welcome me to the group.
An artist, writer and mother (and much more, I'm sure!), Lizzi's blog posts are always insightful, yet light-hearted and visually interesting. If you leave a comment, Lizzi is sure to keep the conversation going by responding back.
5.4.09
Scrumptious Saturday: The Back Story
Last night my friends Emily, Christine and Melvin, Alena and their son Andy came over for the first-ever Scrumptious Saturday. We had good conversation, great eats and plenty of wine. The meal was a tribute to my recent Israel trip and consisted of falafel, sesame coated chicken, Israeli salad, labenah, hummus and sour cabbage salad. Emily brought some delicious hamantashen, a cookie with fruit filling that is traditionally served for Purim.
I had made hummus from scratch before, but it was my first time for the other items. Everything turned out fabulously, except the hummus, which was seasoned to perfection but had too crunchy a texture. Anyway, to pull this menu together, I started cooking and grocery shopping at 8 a.m. yesterday morning. I love spending an entire day in the kitchen, with Jack assisting, some happy house music pumping and wine flowing (after noon, of course).
The idea for Scrumptious Saturday--a weekly, low-key dinner that all my fabulous friends are invited to attend each Saturday--is inspired by Lora's Wednesday Spaghetti, as well as by my recent experiences in Israel.
Here's a journal entry I wrote during my trip that explains what I mean:
I had made hummus from scratch before, but it was my first time for the other items. Everything turned out fabulously, except the hummus, which was seasoned to perfection but had too crunchy a texture. Anyway, to pull this menu together, I started cooking and grocery shopping at 8 a.m. yesterday morning. I love spending an entire day in the kitchen, with Jack assisting, some happy house music pumping and wine flowing (after noon, of course).
The idea for Scrumptious Saturday--a weekly, low-key dinner that all my fabulous friends are invited to attend each Saturday--is inspired by Lora's Wednesday Spaghetti, as well as by my recent experiences in Israel.
Here's a journal entry I wrote during my trip that explains what I mean:
Written March 7, 2009
This is the first opportunity I've had to sit down and write since my Birthright trip to Israel began. I don't even know where to start.
Traveling in a group of more than forty people has certainly been interesting for me, to say the least. When I travel, I like to blend in, observe my surroundings and take my time. A group of forty is imposing. When we were shopping in Jerusalem at the Mahan Yehuda shuk for rugala, pomella fruit, baklava, "kisses" and other goodies to celebrate Shabbat, we were blocking every sidewalk, stepping into traffic and generally acting like loud, typical American tourists.
Can you tell I'm Jewish? My journal entry about an amazing and FREE trip to Israel begins with bitching. I'll stop now.
This trip really has been amazing so far--full of firsts. This is my first time to the Middle East. Two days ago I experienced a weightless sensation for the first time while floating in the Dead Sea. Yesterday, I hiked for the first time in the desert, around the rim of the Ramon Crater. I also celebrated Shabbat for the first time last night.
While I don't see myself becoming a more religious person, I would like to incorporate the concept of Shabbat into my regular life.
For those of you who don't know, Jewish people believe that you work very hard all week, and then on the seventh day, Saturday, you rest.
Shabbat begins Friday night at sundown with a celebration that includes an elaborate home-cooked meal, plenty of wine and time with family and friends. You share, talk, reflect and enjoy all the things you work so hard for during the rest of the week. Then, on Saturday you take it easy until sundown when you party hardy. (Obviously this is the secular way to observe the Sabbath.)
I will never make it home after work on a Friday night in time to celebrate Shabbat on the proper day, but why not do it Saturday night/Sunday day instead? It's not the day that's important but the idea of celebrating, sharing and feeling thankful for all the things that bring happiness to your life.
Like traditional Shabbat celebrations, the day after Scrumptious Saturday (today) is my "day of rest." For me this means calling to catch up with friends and family, writing blog posts, taking walks through the city and maybe reading a good book. I refuse to cook (luckily, I have plenty of delicious leftovers from last night), clean or think about work, until sundown tonight.
Life is good.
Ramon Crater
Dead Sea
Mahane Yehuda Shuk in Jerusalem
Traveling in a group of more than forty people has certainly been interesting for me, to say the least. When I travel, I like to blend in, observe my surroundings and take my time. A group of forty is imposing. When we were shopping in Jerusalem at the Mahan Yehuda shuk for rugala, pomella fruit, baklava, "kisses" and other goodies to celebrate Shabbat, we were blocking every sidewalk, stepping into traffic and generally acting like loud, typical American tourists.
Can you tell I'm Jewish? My journal entry about an amazing and FREE trip to Israel begins with bitching. I'll stop now.
This trip really has been amazing so far--full of firsts. This is my first time to the Middle East. Two days ago I experienced a weightless sensation for the first time while floating in the Dead Sea. Yesterday, I hiked for the first time in the desert, around the rim of the Ramon Crater. I also celebrated Shabbat for the first time last night.
While I don't see myself becoming a more religious person, I would like to incorporate the concept of Shabbat into my regular life.
For those of you who don't know, Jewish people believe that you work very hard all week, and then on the seventh day, Saturday, you rest.
Shabbat begins Friday night at sundown with a celebration that includes an elaborate home-cooked meal, plenty of wine and time with family and friends. You share, talk, reflect and enjoy all the things you work so hard for during the rest of the week. Then, on Saturday you take it easy until sundown when you party hardy. (Obviously this is the secular way to observe the Sabbath.)
I will never make it home after work on a Friday night in time to celebrate Shabbat on the proper day, but why not do it Saturday night/Sunday day instead? It's not the day that's important but the idea of celebrating, sharing and feeling thankful for all the things that bring happiness to your life.
Like traditional Shabbat celebrations, the day after Scrumptious Saturday (today) is my "day of rest." For me this means calling to catch up with friends and family, writing blog posts, taking walks through the city and maybe reading a good book. I refuse to cook (luckily, I have plenty of delicious leftovers from last night), clean or think about work, until sundown tonight.
Life is good.
Ramon Crater
Dead Sea
Mahane Yehuda Shuk in Jerusalem
21.1.09
Best Friends Forever
Nothing lasts forever. What a sad thought.
The strength of the bond between best-friends comes from the understanding that your friendship will endure, tough times, to the end.
But nothing lasts forever. Friends come and go...even friends I thought were forever-friends.
They were forever. Forever in the moment.
The strength of the bond between best-friends comes from the understanding that your friendship will endure, tough times, to the end.
But nothing lasts forever. Friends come and go...even friends I thought were forever-friends.
They were forever. Forever in the moment.
3.12.08
First Thanksgiving in new house
There was nothing traditional about our first Thanksgiving in the new house.
We spent the day with friends instead of family, ate pastel de pollo instead of turkey and there wasn't a pumpkin dish in sight.
I started preparing the filling for the pastel de pollo on Wednesday night, using a hand-written "recipe" on notebook paper that Nany, my madre tica, was kind enough to share with me. I put "recipe" in quotation marks because the instructions leave a lot to the imagination. How much tomatoe paste goes in the filling? To taste, I suppose. Cook it what temperature? I go with 375. And, how long do you cook it? "Hasta que este dorado," of course.
Thanksgiving morning, I was back in the kithchen by 7 a.m. There was a lot to prepare. Our menu included fresh beets with goat cheese and chopped mint; a cheese platter, featuring ricotta salata, manchego and aged gouda cheeses, as well as chunks of fresh baguette and seasoned olive oil; pastel de pollo for the main dish; and bread pudding with a brandy-butter sauce.
Note: I used brandy instead of bourbon because I forgot to buy bourbon when I went to the liquor store that morning. (I must have distracted by the handle of gin I decided to buy.)Around 7 p.m., our friends Natasha and Steve arrived with a box of booze (best gift a lady could ask for) in-hand.
We had a great time eating, conversing (read: ball-breaking) and drinking. Natasha and Steve were especially entertained by the fact that I force
"poor Jack" to smoke outside in the cold.Did I mention drinking?
It took me a week to write this post, but I figure, it's timely since I'm still eating the leftovers.
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