I've always considered myself a "bad Jew," but after this Hanukkah, I am definitely going to hell.
It was the second night of Hanukkah, and my parents and I were standing in the kitchen of a beach house in Alligator Point, Fla., sipping Patron Reposado from white wine glasses and listening to Jimmy Buffet on "Oyster Radio." My mom held up her glass and yelled "L'chaim!" Our glasses clinked together, and she continued the cheers with a "Happy FUCKING Hanukkah!"
In place of a menorah, we attempted lighting two lighter fluid soaked pieces of charcoal over the hibachi. My mom and I began: "Ba-ruch ata, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, me-lech ha-o-lam, a-sher ki-de-sha-nu be-mits-vo tov."
Thanks to howling wind, our "candles" wouldn't light. At this point it was declared that "Jesus was too strong down here in the south." We gave up and went inside.
26.12.08
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this sounds like my kind of hanukkah!
ReplyDeletethat sounds sweet. If convert to a jew, can I come next year? (is a non-jew allowed to call a jewish person a "jew"? Just curious?)
ReplyDeleteFunny. I debated whether or not to publish this post. Turns out I'm not the only one who finds blasphemy funny :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes "Jew" is acceptable. It's not a dirty word!